Important Points in Writing & Important things that will help me as a writer!

These our some pointers I feel that are the most important and another important pointers that I need to know to improve my writing.

Important Points in Writing

1) Write with a fluency and Panache, which makes the piece have a sense of personal voice.

2) Use Paragraphs for effects – long/ very short and drop paragraphs

3) Shifts of informal and formal vocabulary

4) The WHAT? WHO? HOW approach to reading

5) Personalize writing with anecdotes

Ways to improve my writing

1) Read more

2) Use Pronouns & determiners that add authority rather than personalize ideas

3) Judge the audience I am writing to.

4) Use comas within sentences not but not between.

5) Surprise the reader.

This is the link which I use to pick out these points – http://geoffbarton.co.uk/files/student-resources/GCSE-A*/A*-Farewell-fun-pack.pdf

The Ipswich Hero!My Hero!

My first manager I can remember was Jim Magilton a Town legend on the pitch, but the team with no real passion just a hove in to the cold wind with a hope that a potbellied striker would score! Finishing at 8th wasn’t good enough for the chairman. I thought lets be honest we are gonna get relegated next season, but with Man Utd legend Roy Keane in charge the season was optimistic as he has only finished in the top two with Sunderland. Wasn’t to be, near the foot of the table he was gone. Who next, who is our savior! Paul Jewell it turned out to be. The team played with crisp passing and everything looked great as he saved us. Another season of optimism came with the cycle continuing Paul was gone with us rock bottom. While this was happening Wolves new manager, as Mick McCarthy was sacked, Stale Solbakken wasn’t doing great. This was down with not trusting Mick McCarthy, I think if he didn’t get sacked they would still be in the premier league not in league 1. The greatest managers are not there for a season they are there to change the club for the good, like Sir Alex Ferguson. Anyway McCarthy went to town with them sitting rock bottom with 7 points of 13 games. He saved us again putting us away from the pack at the bottom and no nerves on the last day. I felt as Ipswich fan he shouldn’t be here saving us ,as he did wonders for wolves. He told a radio station he felt distraught at being sacking and thought that was it. This is why this time I think with McCarthy’s determination he will help us get promoted next season or if not he is still at the almighty town. Whatever happens McCarthy in my eyes will go down as one of town’s greatest managers even if he is not there for long! McCarthy too good to let go. This is why McCarthy is my hero as when I heard the interview I felt sorrow for him and the way he has come back with my team makes him one of the inspirational people in my life with his sheer determination!

How effectively does the Lypsyl® advertisement use presentational devices to convey its message?

This is the link to a google document, which is my analysis of presentational devices on an advertisement.

 https://docs.google.com/document/d/1y_yG1bY1RqsOKb_KFqD2RtEVvh4bn7b8UoB6CADfKgg/edit 

Fact v Fiction and Formal v Informal

Today, In class we looked at how to improve our essay writing skills with 2 monster ways to help! Some Examples: 

Nutritionists recommend that
adults include 18g of fibre in their
diet each day. One typical bowl of
Crunchy Bran delivers half of that
amount in one go. And getting the
other half of the fibre we need
doesn’t have to be hard work
either.

This text has an informal style. The writer uses vocabulary in a colloquial way as is he was trying to sell something on the street. He use of words are very unceremonious like,’doesn’t have to be hard work either’, which makes the tone of the piece more conversation like and also tells us that we are on the same level as the writer with the use of the the word ‘we’. The text is very simple so longer sentences are easy to read and follow with no difficulty. Lastly, with the text being more advertisement gives the reader a sense of authority as they are speaking to us but not directly which gives us the power not to read and move on. 

 

 

 

What I need to improve!

I need to improve on my spelling as when I write I don’t use big words as I am afraid of spelling them wrong which limits how effective my work can be.

Learning more words could help as when I learn new words I will be able to spell them creating my work more interesting. 

 

Keep Reading is the key for me to learn new words, so reading 40 mins at least in a week will be good!!!!

Evening Star – Edgar Alan Poe

‘Twas noontide of summer,
And mid-time of night;
And stars, in their orbits,
Shone pale, thro’ the light
Of the brighter, cold moon,
‘Mid planets her slaves,
Herself in the Heavens,
Her beam on the waves.
I gazed awhile
On her cold smile;
Too cold- too cold for me-
There pass’d, as a shroud,
A fleecy cloud,
And I turned away to thee,
Proud Evening Star,
In thy glory afar,
And dearer thy beam shall be;
For joy to my heart
Is the proud part
Thou bearest in Heaven at night,
And more I admire
Thy distant fire,
Than that colder, lowly light.

I chose this poem to say to my class because I liked Edgar Alan poe’s poem the raven and I thought I would look at another one of his poems.This one stuck to me because it was a bit different and not a love or a war poem. Also I think the first line has a real impact as it is unusual, and the last line as well. 

The Book I want to read!

A book I want to read is The Knife of Never Letting Go by Patrick Ness. I want to read this book as the synopsis appealed to me because it was something extra-ordinary which I thought was quite clever. Also the situation of you being the boy there I feel is quite weird and and a new idea. And the fact that everyone knows what you are feeling is daunting. The whole idea of what is going to happen with this boy was interesting. This is why I really want to read this book!

 

How effectively does the Lypsyl® advertisement use presentational devices to convey its message?

The bright and vibrant colours appeal instantly to girls aged 13-17, as these colours portrays exciting new fun things. These colours are also shown with the different colours of Lypsyl which shows the types of flavours. The Cameo of the London eye entices the reader, also the two girls shopping because it makes the reader jealous and envy . The little 20p slip invites the reader into buying the product which makes the reader requiring for the product. The page layout is in an clear and concise manner which sets them up for a well written article. Also with the fact of having a chance of winning a prize grabs the reader and makes them excited of having the chance and that advertisement is a useful way to make some money. The way it is set out employs the article’s aesthetics, which creates a vivid impression on the reader. This text is broken up into chunks by pictures and they way the font is has a vivid effect on the reader and how it appeals to him/her when they see it and if they turn the page over without reading. With Lypsyl having it’s own logo makes it easily recognisable. Overall, the page is direct at girls and this is effective because I sure wouldn’t read it, but I know this type of magazine appeals to girls.

New ways to write effectively!

In this lesson we looked at how to write an effective introduction and to help us we used more complex words and stated the devices which the writer employs such as metaphor, juxtaposition and vivid imagery. Also any sentence with more detail in them.

We looked at not so good sentences and why that was, it was because they were writing in the passive and the best way to write is to do it in the active because it makes it sound more interesting and looks better. Also, other ways to say ‘this creates tension’ such as this metaphor forces the reader to consider what life was like…

Lastly, we revised some of the devices and the most common ones we need to know.  

 

1984

In the first two chapters of 1984, George Orwell establishes the cruelty of the government therefore setting the scene and letting us get to know a character who is Winston.Orwell used Winston as the eye of the cruelty, so we learnt a bit about Winston and the happening. In the first chapter Orwell establishes the book’s dark mood with brutal and physiological cruelties. Orwell’s main point is to stress the fact that the government are watching everyone. In this book there are people called the thought police who detect what they are doing. Orwell brings the book alive in the first chapter when Winston has gone against the government writing ‘DOWN WITH BIG BROTHER’, and there the door starts to knock. 

The anticipation of what it is going to be, gives the book that dramatic premise. With the arrival of Ms Parson, his neighbor, creates a sense of Winston’s guilt and the excitement as to why Ms Parson was there. But only needing help with the pluming gives me as the reader a wanting to read on because if that is what has happened in two chapters. What will happen with 20 chapters. Also in the end he has a dream of a man called O’Brien about meeting in a place with no darkness. Which leads us onto the forthcoming future for Winston which may be dark or bright.